Tough call, they're both really built and they both talk funny.

Can someone please tell me why I have scenes from Look Who's Talking Too going around in my head?

Thanks.

All the pretty boys

Decent hair, nice clothes and actual personal hygiene. They're what women have berated men for being without for decades, and now they're everywhere. So why aren't we happy? I find myself on nights out (even hormonally-charged nights out) dismissing blokes out of hand for such crimes as "Being in Possession of an Intentional Haircut" and "Going Equipped with a Distressed T-Shirt".

I had a chat with a friend about this phenomenon, and she understood. I find it difficult to be attracted to that look, she says, because "it wasn't like that in our day" (bear in mind we are 23 years old, not 43).

She's right. The formula for boys during my adolescence, in Bolton at least, was: checked shirt, hair fairly recently cut in whichever manner the barber fancied cutting it, slightly too much aftershave. So, naturally I'm suspicious of the too-trendy. For a while, Bolton was the last vestige of the masculine - Metrosexuals needed not apply. Then, over the last 18 months, along with the increasing number of bars opening along Bradshawgate, came slim fitting white shirts, Bedhead hair gunk, highlights, designer - not knockoff - jeans, tight vest tops and - horror of horrors - pink sweaters. Banished are Ben Sherman and his close associate Mr Kickers.

In a way, I'm pleased that little old backward Bolton has evolved slightly. In a way, it makes me want to retreat to the beer garden of the Ole Three, where men with non-postmodernironic beards can still be found, and quietly battle my intentional haircut attraction demons.